Black Belt Mama

When Heels and Nylons Save the Day

Yesterday was the election for the board of directors at my country club, which is actually more like a swimming club that happens to have a clubhouse. There were five available positions and nine candidates. Some of the candidates running for election have been members of the club longer than I've been alive. I figured my chances were slim to none. The only other time I ran for office was during one of my high school years. I ran for a class officer position and lost. I was humiliated and destroyed from that loss. I was expecting the same feeling at the country club elections.

At the country club, there are two factions if you will. There are the very much older people who go for the inside stuff and there are the families who join for the pool and show up at the clubhouse primarily for wing night and "beef and beer" night. The younger people get upset because although we make up the majority of the club, the minority rule. Although I can't speak about all of them, there are a great many of the older faction that are mean about it too.

The younger people get resentful that although we are the majority, we're ruled by people we deem "out of touch." Yesterday at the meeting, a younger mom suggested that the club sponsor some kid friendly bus trips to local amusement parks, zoos, etc. in addition to the Ladies Auxiliary sponsored bus trips to the casinos at 12 noon on a Tuesday which obviously don't work for younger women and you know, teaching our kids to gamble at young ages probably isn't a good idea. The poor woman's suggestion was met with so much disgust, and then she was told she had to join the Ladies Auxiliary if she wants to make suggestions like that.

The Ladies Auxiliary meets on Friday nights. They have keyboard entertainment, coffee and desserts and then plan bus trips and singles dances that happen at 12 noon on a Sunday. I'm not saying they don't do some good for the club; but it's not exactly an environment friendly to younger women.

Because Mr. BBM and I had a wedding to go to immediately after the meeting (actually during, but we'll ignore that), we were very dressed up. I wore a black dress with a wrap sweater and shiny black heels. I felt extremely over-dressed, but Mr. BBM didn't think so. When I looked around the room at the two factions of people, the older people were dressed up. I'm talking skirts, sweaters and blazers people. Many of the men wore suits.

When the candidates were introduced, I stood up there and looked around. The younger people smiled at me and probably wondered why I had dressed up so much; they probably weren't, but I felt as if the older people were trying to kill me with evil glares.

Then we voted and an older lady walked right by our row of people and didn't give us ballots. Then someone cried foul and said that only 170-some people had signed in but they had to make extra copies of ballots. So, they collected all the ballots, made a new one from scratch, ran fresh copies and we all had to vote again AND hand our ballot directly to the collection people. It was insane. It felt like a crazy episode of "The Office" or something and it took forever.

Other highlights include my friend sitting behind me who declared she was going to take her shirt off because it was seriously about 105 degrees in the place. Also, a young guy wearing a baseball hat stood up and said something and the old people started SCREAMING at him to "have some respect" and "take off your hat." A couple times, friends of mine leaned over to me and asked me if I was sure I wanted to do this. Another friend told me I should run. Yet another person told me not to get my hopes up. Our faction seemed to be outnumbered.

I voted and left before hearing the results. I had already been there two hours and was really late to my wedding and reception. On the way out the door, an older couple was standing there. The woman looked at me and said, "You're what this club needs on the board. Young blood." She grinned ear to ear and told me she hoped I got elected. Her husband gave me some well wishes too. Mr. BBM told me that thanks to dressing up for the wedding, he thought I had a fighting chance. The older people would appreciate the fact that I had worn a dress and nylons.

About 15 minutes in to the drive, my neighbor called my cell phone. I believe her words were "Oh my God! You Won! You Won!" and then the other text messages of congratulations started rolling in as well. So, I'm now a board member and there is a lot of work to be done. First order of business will be getting them to turn the damn heat down to save some money and keep people from taking their shirts off. Second order of business, figuring out a way to get the two very divided factions to peacefully co-exist, while making the inside a more desirable place to frequent for families.

Clearly, I've got my work cut out for me.

Flu, Pneumonia, Allergic Reactions and More Fun

I usually turn my cell phone off when I'm on campus. Either that, or if I forget and it rings, I hit ignore and continue teaching. This morning, my phone rang between my classes and my gut told me to answer it.

Last night, at a doctor's appointment for Big I, I noticed that Lil C felt warm again. After running a fever for three days and then not having one, I asked the doctor to check her and when I told her that Lil C's primary complaint was that her back hurt, she looked concerned.

Immediately, she slid her stool across the room and listened to Lil C's chest. I knew there was something wrong when she continued to listen and listen without saying anything.

The diagnosis: pneumonia, a complication of H1N1. Allergic to so many drugs, the doctor prescribed a strong one that she hadn't had before. She told me that if this didn't work, if she got worse, or if she still had a fever in 48 hours, that she'd have to go to the hospital for IV antibiotics.

This is not what you would expect to hear when you think your kid just has a cough that you thought was getting better. I was so relieved that I had made the appointment for Big I (who has the ear infection that won't quit and is now on a second round of antibiotics), and even more glad that I spoke up and asked the doctor to look at Lil C.

It took three pharmacies before we found Lil C's antibiotic. I was a nervous wreck last night, listening to her cough, so much so that I moved her into my bed so I could keep a close eye on her. I barely slept the entire night.

This morning, I was expecting her to be better. She was sleeping when I left for work, but my Mom who happens to be a nurse and Mr. BBM were here to keep an eye on her.

I answered my phone as my students started taking their seats and it was Mr. BBM. He told me he was rushing Lil C to the doctor because she was having an allergic reaction to her antibiotic. She was getting huge hives on her body, one was about three inches by three inches on her leg. I told him I was canceling my class and that I'd be there soon.

When I turned around to tell my students, instead of being happy that class was over for the day before it even started, they looked concerned. As I gathered my stuff and ran out of the room, they yelled well wishes at me and told me they hoped things would be ok. Many of my students were staying to work on their group speeches even though I was leaving. They are such a great group of kids.

One of my adult students, an ER nurse at the local hospital, followed me out and gave me her cell phone number. She told me to call if we had to go to the hospital so she could streamline us and get us right in. She has two daughters too, one who was in the ER for the very same reason just two weeks ago. 

I have never been behind such slow, stupid drivers in my life. I'm not sure exactly how I got to the doctor's office. All I know is that it took entirely too long.

When I got to the office, my Mom was waiting outside for me. She said Lil C had already been taken back. The receptionist took me to the room as they were coming out. I was sure we were heading to the hospital. Instead, they're trying a different oral antibiotic in a super dose and a breathing medication because today, they heard some wheezing as well as the crackling from last night.

This is the third time this child has had an allergic reaction to an antibiotic. Clearly, she thinks I need some gray hair or something. Although she already seems a little better, I am keeping a very close eye on her. If at any moment, I think she's getting worse, I am taking her to the hospital. I am just praying we don't get to that point. I hope you'll join me.

Busted

Last night, I took Big I to see Yamato, the drummers of Japan. I went two years ago and it was awesome. Last night was no different. Big I was mesmerized by the show. She absolutely loved it, and it was nice to do something with her.

After the show, I took a look around the auditorium to see if any of my students were present. The University where I teach offered free tickets to the students and a free bus ride to the show. I was thinking that no one I knew was there and then I spotted him, one of the students who missed my speech class yesterday.

I pointed him out to Ax-Kick Eric, who was with us, and AKE asked me if I wanted to go bust him.

Definitely.

We made our way across the auditorium and it was as if my student sensed I was there. He turned and looked directly at me. I waved and smiled, as did he, and then I put my hands up as if to say, "What's going on?" I mouthed the words, "Where were you today?" and he got a look of desperation on his face. He started mouthing words to me and waving his hand in the air as if to tell me he had a written excuse or something.

I gave him the "Yeah right, whatever" face and headed out. Class tomorrow should be interesting.

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A Halloween Riddle

For Halloween, the girls were both Ariel, the little mermaid. We had some definite issues with them both being the same thing. Lil C kept telling Big I, "My dress is prettier. I look more like a mermaid." And Big I kept trying to steal Lil C's wig; Lil C had kept hers in much better shape leading up to Halloween. I'll post pictures when Mr. BBM eventually sends them to me. They're living on his camera right now.

We had a neighborhood pre-trick-or-treating party to go to on Saturday. It was nice to have dinner provided and not have to worry about it after having done a good hour of mermaid-like make-up. I happened to be having a really bad hair day myself, so I asked Big I if I could borrow her witch hat.

Immediately the girls were thrilled that I was going to dress up a bit. They kept going in my closet and picking out black dresses for me to wear. It was miserable outside, super rainy, so a dress was out. However, I put on a shirt, a black cape-like shawl I have and some black boots. I also pumped up the volume on some smoky eye shadow and put the hat on my head. The girls were upset that I pulled on a pair of jeans.

There they were standing in my bathroom, giving me a hard time and telling me I needed to shove extra pants in my waistband so I looked like I had eight legs, more like Ursula from The Little Mermaid movie. And then I had an idea.

I went downstairs, found a piece of construction paper and cut out a big letter "C." I threaded a black corded necklace through the top of it and wore the big "C" around my neck. Combined with the witch hat, I felt it was pretty obvious what I was, but I was wrong.

At the party, one of my friends came up to me and said, "So what's with the "C"?" I asked him "What's the letter?" and he said "C." Then I pointed at my witch hat. "C Hat?" he asked curiously.

Not exactly. Can you figure out what I was supposed to be?

Of Skeletons and Creative Thinking

A couple weeks ago, I bought adorable Halloween pajamas for Lil C. They are pink and when worn in the dark, you can see a glow in the dark skeleton, complete with a sparkly pink heart. They're adorable and more importantly, the kid really needed some new pajamas.

I brought them home and was so excited to show them to her, but my excitement quickly faded. She hated them. She said, "I'm NOT wearing bones."

Awesome.

So, I kept trying for two weeks. Finally, two nights ago, after being super fried from being alone with the girls all week while Mr. BBM is away, I refused to get off the floor and go find her another pair of pajamas. So, I flipped them around so she couldn't see the skeletons and asked her if she wanted to wear her new pretty pink jammies.

"Yes," she exclaimed with excitement. She asked me when I bought her new jammies, but I ignored her and helped her put them on. . . backwards, careful not to show her the bones.

It was when I put the shirt on her that she noticed something was up. The baggy butt area in the backwards pants didn't clue her in prior to this. She saw a white something on the backs of the arms as I was straightening them out and asked me what they were.

"Oh those? Those are pretty white bows. Isn't that cool that you have pretty white bows all down your jammies?" She said yes, grinned ear to ear and went happily to sleep.

The next morning, I asked her how she liked sleeping in her pink jammies. She said, "I love them." It was then that I took her into the dark powder room and showed her the glowing skeleton on the back of her pants and shirt.

"What?" she yelled, and then she looked right at me, cracked up laughing and said, "Mommy, you tricked me!"

I asked her if she was going to wear them again and she said, "Yes, I like my geleton jammies now." This morning, I went to work and my Mom was here when Lil C woke up in her backwards skeleton jammies. She doesn't mind that they have skeletons on them now, but she's still going to wear them backwards.

Sometimes you just have to think out of the box. Backwards is clearly the way to go.